(actually I'm not sure that he does, but that's another story.)

The guy at the CHINA outlet in the Courtenay Central complex has twice claimed to me that his BBQ pork is the best in town.

The results after the jump!

I present for your delectation two of the best sandwiches I have had in a long, long time.

Meat on Tory: Meat is a delicatessen and as such at lunchtime (from 12.00 to 1.30) they offer a hot roast beef sandwich. But not just any old hot roast beef sandwich, it's a sandwich so incredible that it just might be intelligent (which might make you feel weird eating it).

They start with Bearnaise sauce (actually it might not be Bearnaise, but it's as good as), then they add the hot carved roast beef (and lots of it), then gherkins (sweet god in heaven could it get any better?), then they add onions and finally fill the whole thing with gravy (the elixir of life).

You can eat-in or take-out and I would recommend the former as the sheer size of the sandwich makes it slightly unwieldy. I took mine for a walk and then had all kinds of fun times trying to eat the sucker.

This sandwich actually made me regret working such a long distance from Tory St.

Green Land: I know we've been pushing these guys a lot recently but, damn, have you had one of their sandwiches?!?!

First up they have a beef sandwich. It's not hot or gravied-up, but it does contain gherkins! Gherkins are the measure of a good beef sandwich (clearly), hence Green Land's beef sandwich is a good beef sandwich. I had a small issue with the cucumber that was slipped in unannounced, but that has been rectified and, quite frankly, was nit-picking on my part.

Second in line (and my personal favourite when I visit) is the Bacon and Egg sandwich (seen below, yes I forgot and took a bite before I took the photo).

The bacon is thick and tasty, the egg is fried but still slightly gooey, slid there with the star ingredients in a couple of slices of brie and some lettuce and mayo. And while they don't shine, their performances support the main cast like Ben Stiller's cameo in Anchorman (you know he's there and what he's doing and you like it, but you still really care about the lead actors).

Also all of the Green Land sandwiches are made with thick (gluten free?) bread. It's not stodgy and has a real crust.

I'm sure there are other "good" sandwiches out there, like Sir Breadwin's where you choose your own fillings, but these are the best I've had in Wellington.

Item! The next Cellar-vate dinner, which we have drooled about before is on July 9, featuring Ngawaka wines, and it costs $40. Give the lovely Rebecca a call to reserve your tickets.

Item! The supercute Green Land Cafe under the Ministry for the Environment on Kate Sheppard Place is running a competition to win a bottle of the famous olive oil grown on Mt. Vic. Buy a coffee, pick an number and go into the draw. Actually, don't, because it's a gorgeous green virgin, and I wants it. So back off! Also, how lovely are the staff there? They totally buttered my scone for me, if you know what I mean. And of course what I mean is I think it's part of their waste reduction responsibilities.

Item! It's not near Molesworth Street, but it's just as bleak - Stanley Road on the corner of Victoria Street and Willeston is running Happy Hour from 4pm-6pm, with all kinds of beers (Corona etc) for just $3.50. It's not a particularly cosy spot, but hey, given how dry this part of town is, consider it a good oasis to stop at while you cross the desert of Willis Quarter.

Well, we expect a $6 lunchtime pizza in the usual standard from where we usually get it and for it to take a reasonable time.

And if it will take a bit longer or won't be as good we expect to be told so. We wouldn't mind, honestly, we just have to plan our lunch hours.

And finally if we complain about the wait or the quality we like to be treated a bit nicer.

So if you really wanted to know "what do you expect on a Tuesday?", that would be it. Thanks for asking.

Don't say we don't do nothin' fer ya. Our research department has recently discovered a loophole.

For those of you who frequent Burger Fuel you'll know that each month they have two "special" burgers. This month one of them is identical in every way to the 1/3 Pounder ($8.50) but without cheese and retails for $1 more ($9.50, for you who aren't down with adding up).

The Wellingtonista suggests: order the 1/3 Pounder and, if the fancy takes you, ask for no cheese.

ps. No I can't remember what the name of the special burger is.

Hadyn was too lazy write something and Sindy had to pen another one.

Where: Fidel's, top o' Cuba
What: Pizza (Heuvo Planta, Gallina)
How much: $10

Under our current definition, Fidel's $10 pizza is on the expensive side of cheap – in fact it's twice as much as my benchmark meal at Satay Kingdom (see previous post). As such it requires careful analysis to ensure a reasonable comparison with other Cheap-n-Cheerfuls.

Read More

This week's Cheap and Cheerful is written by Sindy

Where: Offbeat Originals, Left Bank, Cuba St
What: Burger, toasted sandwich, milkshake
How much: $9, $4, $4 respectively

Offbeat Originals plays on the same 20-something's sense of nostalgia that so many other places are cashing in on at the mo' they got their spaceman cigarette candies, their giraffe-brand milkshake cups, and their toasted sammages. But Offbeat seems sincere with their use of kiwi-kid icons and don't charge an arm and a leg for your own memories.

[Read more]

Rollin, rollin, rollin.
Keep them doggies rollin.
Rollin, rollin, rollin.
RAWHIDE!

Where: Rawhide, Waterfront in those shed things by Frank Kitts Park
What: Gourmet Hotdogs
How much: $5-6

Sindy and I had walked past this place a few times on our way home from work and we decided that it did indeed meet our criteria for the CNC crusade due to the seating.

Rawhide is the latest in a run of food/juice places that have occupied the sheds. Tom's documented a few including this one. Rawhide does gourmet steak sandwiches and gourmet hotdogs with nothing over $10. So over summer it seems like the perfect place to stop in on your way home along the waterfront, then maybe grab a coffee and gelato at Kaffe Eis, around the corner, afterwards? Lovely.

So we bowled up at 5pm (or there-abouts) on a blustery but sunny afternoon. There were a group of kids sitting and talking about Frank Zappa with an old fella at one table and one spare table in the lee of the wind. While we were perusing the board, the "chef" came out and started to pack away the spare table. We looked a little perplexed and asked if they were closing.

"Well that depends on what you want" she replied.
"Well what can you make?" I asked
"Well that depends on what you want" she replied.

This was getting us nowhere.

READ MORE

I'm going to leave the (heated) debate that followed the first Cheap 'n' Cheerful and head to another food-type altogether. There should be no debate about this one as it may be the only SXSE eatery in Wellington (not to be confused with SXSW).

Where: Sweet Mother's Kitchen, 5 Courtenay Pl
What: Slow-cooked Beef Po' Boy
How much: $9

What is a po' boy? A po' boy (short for poor boy) is a traditional sandwich from the Southern United States. It consists of meat or seafood, usually fried, served on a baguette. The baguette is the key here; crunchy outside, soft inside. Potatoes, lettuce, gravy, and various sauces can be added if you wish. I had a variation of these in France stuffed with frites Mmmm-mmmm.

Sweet Mother's does a variety of po' boys: BBQ chicken; vegetarian (which I think has beans in it) and slow-cooked beef (your dedicated author's favourite). Sweet Mother's Kitchen does a dressed po' boy as standard, which means that it has lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise with the meat, so it's easy to tick off that 5+ a day.

[READ MORE]

It's time for another quest. Much like last year's Days of Our Pies (there will be a second part to that by the way), this one involves food of the less expensive variety. Helping me in this quest is guest writer Cindy (a very clever pseudonym). This will hopefully be similar to, but more specific than My Wellington's Top Cheap Eats.

The Rules:

• The food must cost less than $10 (preferably much less)

• The food has to be a single menu item (i.e. it can't be two starters or sides)
• The establishment must be a place where one can sit down and eat (like a civilised human, whether you are one or not)

The Judgement:
We'll be looking at flavour, cost and ambience as our major areas of critique/praise. However an eatery may get a higher score for those "intangible qualities" which go into a great CNC.

With all the "formal" stuff out of the way let's get into our first one.

Where: Satay Kingdom, Left Bank Cuba St
What: Roti Chennai
How much: $5

With any ranking system of this type it's good to start with a norming item, in this case the Roti Chennai at Satay Kingdom. At $5 it sits right in the middle of our price range (from free to a tenner) and we already know it to be fairly good.

How to describe the meal: an oily, thin, but very tasty curry soup with pieces of boneless chicken and potato served with a piece of Malaysian roti cut into cute triangles. The meal seems small but is incredibly filling. I foolishly went and ordered another piece of roti ($2) meaning two or three bits had to be left uneaten. READ MORE

Alan a while back suggested a quest to find the best bacon sandwich in Wellington (at least I think it was Alan. UPDATE it was actually llew). This, of course, would be to match Tom's gallant mission to visit every Wellington bar in a year.

Well I tried to do a "Big Breakfast" review but was beaten back by the cholesterol in my veins (I'll post the results here soon). Bacon Sandwiches and Martinis are not my areas of expertise but there is one type of food that I can give an expert opinion on: Pies. That's right, I ate all the pies (in Wellington) and reviewed them for you, the people.
(You might notice a theme when it comes to flavours)

Steak & Cheese from Bon Mange, 110 Lambton Quay.
Bon Mange means Good Eats in French and if you don't have the pies, then that is really correct. The pie crust is flakey and the top separates from the base with alarming regularity causing "steak" and ooze to, well, ooze in your paper bag, revealing a large "window to weight gain". Also I never could stand yellow pastry.
4/10

Mrs Macs Steak & Cheese, most dairies.
Never before has mankind crafted a cheesier pie. A pie from "across the ditch", made with Australia's latest infusion de fromage technology, a Mrs Macs pie is a spectacle of flavour. If you are a Pie-and-a-coke kind of person, then this is the pinacle of lunches. Unfortunately, while the pastry is filled to overflowing with yellow gold*, it is a little lacking in solid meat. Teh more Bohemian amongst you may balk at the fact that these pies can also be found in frozen form at your local supermarket.

Because she is obsessed with Elvis, and also maybe due to some experiences on tour buses that she alludes to but never puts her photos on flickr from, our intrepid publisher decided to treat us all from the Wellingtonista towers to lunch at Harem to celebrate the launch of the new URL.

Shadows grow longer, leaves turn to russet and fall to the damp earth, and an autumnal chill settles upon our fair city. So what better time to celebrate the new life and fruitfulness of spring?

Yes, Easter is upon us, so we should prepare ourselves for serious contemplation of the greatest miracle of all. Chocolate.

The good people at Truffle are always ready to help celebrate the abundance of nature, or at least the edible portion of it, and they have some special goodies for the season. Bags of Piedmontese chocolate eggs by Venchi are a snip at $14.95 for 135 grams, and they're also stocking some special items from Wellington's favourite alchemists of confectionery, Schoc. Those with a farmyard fetish can pretend that they're in a Cadbury's ad and gorge themselves on chocolate rabbits and poultry, while aesthetes might prefer the one-off hand-painted hollow eggs. In the same vein as their Christmas bars (real gold, frankincense and myrrh), they offer Easter chocolate bars flavoured like hot cross buns. What sorcery is this?!?

Of course, when one thinks of Easter, one thinks of cabaret. No? Must just be me then. But it seems that others think the same way, since on Good Friday Sandwiches will be home to "Sheba's Dirty Thirties Cabaret". Anyone who's seen one of Sheba's cabaret performances (such as at last year's Midnight Burlesque) will know that "dirty" won't be an exaggeration.

For those who prefer a more sedate cabaret experience, Eateria de Manon (by all accounts the best French restaurant south of Majoribanks St) is having a tribute to Edith Piaf on Sunday night. For $55 you get a three course meal and live music from local Piafophiles Sans Souci. I'm not sure what will be on the menu for the night, but they are known for such dishes as squash and pork trotter soup, brioche-crumbed lambs brains and squid stuffed with wild goat. While those of a sentimental persuasion can ooh and ahh over cutely gamboling easter lambs, isn't it nice to think that some of us will be eating their brains?

The little side street at the Taranaki Street end of Courtenay Place has been due for big changes for a while, and now it all looks like it's finally happening. In June, work will start on closing the street and turning it into a pocket park: more details will be released by the council in a couple of weeks. Also, the long-abandoned toilet block which has been the subject of various suggestions over the years (including, hilariously, wetarium and sexual health museum), will undergo a more predictable but nonetheless welcome transformation. Ian "Ferg" Ferguson will convert it into a wine bar by doubling the underground space, lining the walls with wine racks and adding an outdoor drinking area on the roof. This work will also start in June and is expected to open by Christmas under the name "Wine Cellar" (WC for short, of course). If only the walls could speak!

But the first change that we'll see here is the opening of the first downtown Wellington branch of Burger Fuel. That explains the loud drooling noises emanating from Wellingtonista towers. There's no official word on the opening date, but construction work looks well advanced, so I'd guess that it's just a few weeks away. Mmm, booze, burgers and a sunny park: that's got to be better than a turning lane and a handful of car parks.

Have you ever wanted to just eat your way around a suburb? No? Well, we here at Wellingtonista have, and we figured it would make sense to start with Hataitai. After all, who doesn't love Hataitai? So here's what you can get to eat: